How to Ask

and why it’s a habit you WANT to get into.

That’s right babe, asking for it.

I was in my local temple today with my neighbour who said such an impactful sentence to us we (Tom and I) both came away being like “holy fuck”.

“A temple is a place to ask for what you want. And there’s not guilt in asking”

I mean hello!?! I felt like saying - ohhhhh buddy, you have no idea how us in the western world get educated about asking for what we want. Especially as a female, asking for what you want is like saying “I’m a selfish cow and am putting my needs above everyone else and see my arrogance and ego biatch” am I Right?

But when we break it down, asking for what we want - isn’t a bad thing. Yes we’re taught it’s bad but that’s because as females asking for what we want, men don’t get to come first and obviously the patriarchy aren’t delighted with that.

I’m getting better and better at asking for things. Saying I’m a work in progress is an understatement however, I don’t see that as a negative thing. I see that as inspiring and powerful because I am stepping into my worth, If you think you know everything…hmmmm. So not on board with this!

Back to asking for things.

I want you to think about the last time you LET yourself ask for what you want.

A raise?

Time out?

Space for yourself?

Maybe it was just asking for the time to get started?

Did you find it hard? How did those around you react? How did you go about it?

I’m going to take you through a little process I use to help me ask for things that I feel will be really useful because let’s be honest - we aren’t taught this at school and I want Molly to grow up knowing she has the power to ask for anything she wants and where will she learn this from? Yep, it’s me! So I need to get my asking sorted out so she can see me put this into practise.

My Asking Ritual

You’ll need a journal, pen and a lighter. Maybe a candle, a crystal and a quiet space.

Go ahead and light the candle and put out your crystal. Sit or lie down and close your eyes. Take in 3 deep breaths - inhaling through your nose and exhaling through your mouth.

Once you’ve completed your 3 deep breaths, focus in on your breath and ask yourself what you want. Really settle into this question.

I occasionally place my hands on my abdomen and heart and really try to connect my mind with what my heart is telling me. I don’t set a timer for this space but I probably hang like this for roughly 10 minutes or so. I let the thoughts flow through my mind, but always ask myself after a thought appears - is that what I want? And why do I want that.

(for example - if money comes to my mind I will ask myself why I want money? Is it because I want to travel/treat my husband, pay for a course. I really knuckle down on the why)

Then bring yourself awake again and right it all down! Write the why - write all the things that flowed through your head, can just be bullet points or it can be lengthy. Doesn’t matter babe.

Then I want you to tear little strips of paper and write your top 3 asks.

Hold each one and say : Even though I am working on myself, I am here and I am worthy. I ask for….(then say what you wrote down)….

Say this three times for each piece then after you’ve said out loud 3 rounds burn the paper and let it soar.

I’d love to know how you feel and if you tried this! So comment below babe.


Jette VirdiComment