And why it’s oh, so real.
Ever wake up and immediately feel like you’re on the back foot? Get out of bed feeling groggy and tired, trip over some piece of clothing left in the middle of your room which puts you in a bad mood, then realise there’s no cold water and you really needed to wash your hair, check your phone and get caught in the scroll to then realise you have ten minutes to get the bus and you’re still in your towel, half wet half dry hair with no breakfast in sight? And as the day progresses it just snowballs until you get home at night and just want to cry. Pack it in and never wake up tomorrow.
Yeah, me too. We’ve all been there. All done that.
It’s almost as if while we haven’t created that life, we haven’t helped it either. We haven’t given ourselves the chance to even have a great day. Because while we’re taught that these things should just come to us, the truth is, no matter how small the changes are that we want to see, we have to work for them.
I’m a big believer of working at the start and then letting it flow. If you follow me over on instagram you will have heard me talking about discipline for freedom and how that relates to overwhelm. Because overwhelm is one of the biggest factors female entrepreneurs say holds them back.
Overwhelm of how many things are on their to do list.
Overwhelm of how many things in their business they are “supposed” to accomplish.
Overwhelm of what the rest of their day looks like on top of their business life.
As a mum of a 19month old, the overwhelm can be hefty. Firstly there’s the waking up for nursery - making breaky, getting dressed, walking to school (as slowly as she possibly can I might add) all whilst I’m racing around in my head, not focusing on her but already getting overwhelmed with all the “stuff” I have to do.
After 3 months of this existence I couldn’t hack it. Couldn’t hack it at all so I looked really closely at what I was doing and how it was affecting my mental state. Because let’s face it, if we have a clear and calm mind - the rest pretty much follows.
So I looked at my habits first thing in the morning: what did I do as soon as I woke up? Generally I looked at my phone a) to see what ungodly hour she’d woken me up but then b) I got hooked looking at the notifications I’d gotten through the night. I already had the “do not disturb”option set from 7pm-7am but they would be there waiting for me like candy to nit pick on as soon as I got up.
That then turned into quickly scrambling through them all before starting my day. Broken down it meant that THE FIRST THING I WAS DOING WAS RACING THROUGH STUFF TO GET STUFF DONE which let’s be honest, doesn’t serve anyone. It left me feeling scattered, not in control and damn right wrong.
So that changed. Now I don’t look at my phone at all until she’s at school and I’ve had breakfast. Which means I now have a solid 2 hours of peace, quiet, calm. No notifications popping away like candy in the background tempting me.
The second thing that I added to this was to give myself 5 minutes of meditation and 5 minutes of tapping. Every. Single. Day. How does that look in my day? Well, as soon as I drop her off, I either meditate on my walk home and then tap or I just go sit down on a bench close by and do it. 10 minutes out of my walk to get home and that’s all it takes.
This has literally been THE game changer. It completely sets me up for the rest of the day. Yes sometimes my head is already whirling with ideas and that’s ok.Sometimes I’m not as focused as other days and that too, is ok. See, what so many people forget about is that it’s a journey. I’m on a journey to find what works for me and implement it. It’s not the landing destination. I can’t think “oh I’ve found what works so I won’t do it regularly”.
Step 3 is to eat. I used to always skip breakfast, well unless it was hotel breakfast and then I would STUFF my face haha. But that has changed. I eat fruit and coffee and maybe an egg. Not huge amounts because I find eating in the morning quite unsettling but I do eat. And I take my time. I don’t do the scroll while I consume. I will put music on or a podcast and eat.
Then I have my day set up for me to eel clear headed, open to freedom and possibility. Next is emails which I set my timer for -20minutes and then I do social media. Who’s messaged me and what do I need to reply to.
I use the amazing 5 second rule. If you look at something like an email, a DM you need to reply or take action within 5 seconds. I tended to see things, read them and think “I’ll get back to them”. But getting back to them turned out to be about 3-7 days later which is pretty useless really, especially if something is urgent! Now I’m a 5 second girl. I reply or take action within 5 seconds and it feels clear, calm and spacious.
This spaciousness in turn gives me so much freedom. I find I’m less anxious about checking emails, I don’t feel scattered during the day and as it happens, I have so much more time now that I’ve disciplined myself into setting myself up for the day.
Yes there are days where this doesn’t work - they tend to be the days my hubby has off! Love you baby. But in general, this is my non negotiable start to every day.