Confidence

and why it’s time to look at how it’s holding you back.

the feeling or belief that one can have faith in or rely on someone or something.

Confidence is one of those things that we hear, talk about and know we should have it but the truth is it can be pretty bloody hard to come by. If you’re anything like me I struggled for years and years with mine.

I used to always:

❌ believe other people where better

❌ didn’t think anyone would hire me

❌ felt like even if I did I wouldn’t get it right

❌ be super conscious that people were always watching to see how I did

❌ and never really enjoyed doing tasks because I was more conscious about getting it wrong, fucking it up or getting judged.

Then one day I woke up and realised that everyone else was so focused on their own shit that they weren’t paying attention to mine, so why was I so hell bent on paying attention to them? I realised that the only person that mattered is what I thought and how I felt I was doing because let’s face it, we all know when we’ve done a shit job. We all have that stream of consciousness in us but the truth is that until we stop and realise that our opinion is the only one that matters, we will never ever, cherry on top be able to feel confident.

So yes Jette, I get that, but how the fudge do I become confident?

Well my little maple glaze here are some of my favourite ways to boost my own confidence when it’s down. And yes, even though generally I’m a master goddess at confidence, I still have days where I’m like the grinch.

Build It Up Brick By Brick:

Doing small tasks and achieving them with success can build our confidence. So break down your to do list into small bite size chunks and after each chunk has been completed, celebrate.

Do The Right Thing:

We all have a value system. We have a few key ones that don’t move but the rest, if we’re honest, sway back and forth. This is not good for your confidence. Set yourself a clear standard, set of rules and stick to it. These will hold you in great stead for future work and clients.

Stand Up For Yourself:

No matter how small or how big, being able to stand up for yourself is a big one. Start right now and make a list your boundaries. Are you prepared to answer work calls after 5pm? Will you check your work emails on the weekends? All of these things help set the framework within which confidence can grow and improve. Because babe, confidence is a muscle and we need to work on it. Daily.

Follow Through:

Urgh this is hard for me. So I set myself goals and if I get close and the deadline is looming, I kinda am like “well I mostly did it so that’s great, done”. But the truth is that doesn’t serve me at all, in any way. Following through with your actions, your goals, your beliefs is the biggest and most sure fire way to build your confidence so get to it. Decided you’d send out 20 cold call emails - do it babe. Make those phone calls. Connect with those people online.

Focus On You:

Again, muscle needing a workout. But this is ongoing. I’d like you to become really conscious of your thoughts and so much so that you write them down. Then take a cold hard look at what is going on in that brain of yours. If the majority of your thoughts are focused around other people and what they think -that needs to stop. So if you find yourself doing that then cut it off mid sentence and say this out loud “I am the only one who’s opinion matters and I think I’m aces”

Do More of What Makes You Happy:

Sounds pretty simple, but it’s an extension of setting your boundaries. Make a list, what sets your soul on fire and what doesn’t. In the doesn't column what can you outsource or stop doing?

xx

Jette VirdiComment