It's a yes!
This year has been a whirlwind of so many things: life, business, love, travel and much more. As many of you know, Tom and I met last year and it was love straight away. We moved in together after 1.5months and, as cheesy as it sounds, it really was as if we'd never not been together. Of course, we have our moments of ups and downs and 2017 for me has been very stressful work wise but we have strong relationship values that we always try to stay true to and we are a team first and foremost. That's why when we came back in January from a trip to New Zealand for me to meet his family, we decided to start trying for a baby. Those who know me will know that I am not the maternal type. I do not find babies cute, adorable, nor do they make my ovaries start squirming but I found myself wanting a baby with this man, the love of my life.
I was, to say the least, apprehensive. With previous ovary issues such as burst cysts and almost dying, PCOS and general concern over having been on the pill for so long, I worried that it would take us a long time to get pregnant. I very much believe that diet affects health, mood and more, so the first thing I did was to go see a herbalist and get a food intolerance test. I've written many posts about all the things the test came back with and the list is long but I worked hard at changing my lifestyle and eating habits to give my body a rest. I actually relished the challenge of working within limits and I found a new lease of life. I didn't get the overriding wave of new energy nor did I feel like a totally new person, however I did feel good. My herbalist helped me to keep my hormones in check as now that I was off the pill I started to get waves of ups and downs. Never heavy depression but it was as if I felt waves of emotions that before I could control and now I had no skills or techniques to work with. It was really interesting and for me, an eye opener, as to how the herbs worked for me. Granted this isn't for everyone but....I feel it worked for me.
Tom was so supportive when I was trying to eat in a new way, helping me by not bringing chocolate into the house, or bread! Gosh it was hard...but it felt good and life was great.
I had even downloaded an app to help me with ovulation times...who knew there are literally only 3-4 days a month when you can get pregnant! Suddenly a whole new world opened up and it's not only mind boggling but scary. I started to see pregnant people everywhere and getting nervous even though we'd only really been trying a month, which in reality is 3 days! I found myself exhausted and getting headaches and really worried that I was taking on too much stress in my life. On May 10th I was styling an event for Deliveroo at nighttime and flying off the next day to Barcelona and then on to Lisbon. I'd missed my period and even though that is a major symptom of PCOS (irregular periods)- I had never ever been late. It just wasn't me. So, Tom got a test during the day and when I came home at 11pm we took it.
Those who know me know I'm impatient. 3 minutes is way too much for me to handle so after I'd done my part, Tom took the test to wait and see. I can remember his face as he asked where the instructions were halfway through the 3 minutes and I remember thinking that the bloody test wasn't working and we hadn't bought another one and that would mean I'd have to wait a whole week before we could take another test! And then he turned it around and there it was. Pregnant 1-2 weeks. We were having a baby. A little person was growing inside me.
So now we can officially say, we're having a baby! Due in January. This little chilli bean is growing fast and strong and, so far, everything is healthy.
It was so hard for me to find such massive news out and then leave Tom for a week. All I wanted to do was be with him and hug each other and marvel at the wonder. It seemed mad that I was all the way in Portugal having an amazing time while he was in Dublin and we couldn't celebrate together. Those first weeks were so nerve-wracking, because we found out so early I couldn't let myself get too excited. Every time I'd go to the bathroom I'd say to the Universe 'please don't have my period, please don't have my period'. It was such an odd experience. And one which suddenly explained the headaches and exhaustion. I've been so lucky that I've had barely any morning sickness and so apart from sleeping every afternoon I've been wonderful. I've honestly never felt more beautiful or sexy - which seems so at odds with modern day because let's be honest, getting fat isn't always the most sexy thing in this world! But it's true, I feel truly beautiful and I'm so excited for a life full of travel, adventure and love with Tom and this little person. There are so many, many things to figure out now we're pregnant but for now, we want to say a massive thank you to our friends and families who have helped us get this far, who have given us words of wisdom, hugs, love and support. I feel so incredibly lucky that we got pregnant so quickly, two months! I'd never have thought it was possible and I'm just so very incredibly grateful.
So, if you see me, come and say hi and give my belly a rub - I give you permission (I'm pretty big already!).